


Rebirth

by hungrybookworm



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/F, Future Fic, Reincarnation, Tragedy, pairing can be platonic or romantic depending on your mood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 13:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1985427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hungrybookworm/pseuds/hungrybookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten years after everything falls apart, Akyuu is reunited with Kosuzu one last time on the night of her thirtieth birthday.</p>
<p>A sad story about the inevitable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> Touhou Project (c) ZUN/Team Shanghai Alice

Somewhere deep in the Hieda house, a clock struck midnight. Akyuu rolled over, listening to its muffled chimes. Her room was pitch black, her attendants having long gone to bed, and her futon sheets were sticky with sweat. Akyuu slept fitfully nowadays, sometimes unsure if she was awake or asleep in the midst of fever. She had a permanent headache, and shivered constantly. 

None of her servants could bring themselves to smile around her. The doctor just shook his head when he came to visit. Everyone knew the fate of the Child of Miare. Their brilliant memory came at a cost, and it would soon be time to pay it.

Akyuu knew she should be thankful. Some of her previous incarnations left behind children and loved ones, and passed away full of regrets. Some of them died all alone, lying on bloodied sheets in a wrecked room. The Hieda family’s history was as varied and volatile as Gensokyo’s, and Akyuu was relieved that her ninth incarnation had gone so smoothly.

That wasn’t to say she felt at peace, however.

The clock fell silent. Akyuu smiled to herself, almost excited for a moment. She hadn’t felt this pleased since her reincarnation confirmation arrived last year. 

For the first time in her long memory, she had reached her thirtieth birthday.

She heard a door opening somewhere down the corridor. Pain shot through Akyuu’s head, and she rubbed her forehead in an attempt to ease her headache. She’d asked to be left alone at night. During the day she was surrounded by people, always fretting over her, trying to make her comfortable, even accompanying her to the toilet. Akyuu would rather die unobserved in the witching hour than lose her last shred of privacy.

The footsteps got louder, and Akyuu’s head pounded in time with them. She hoped she was just imagining things, and it wasn’t a worried servant coming to check on her. She rolled over, annoyed, hoping they would go away. Her eyelids drooped.

When she woke up again, there was someone sitting next to her futon. She stared at the silhouette, trying to recall who it belonged to. Ten seconds passed before she realised it was an adult woman. Twenty seconds passed before she recognised the woman’s face. She shook in disbelief.

Relief flooded through her.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” said Akyuu slowly. “I thought you weren’t going to show up.”

“Happy thirtieth birthday, Akyuu,” said the silhouette. “I’m sorry I missed all the others.”

“Kosuzu...” Akyuu reached out a hand, to touch her. “You’re really here, right? I’m not dreaming, am I?”

“I’m here, I’m real.” Kosuzu Motoori grasped her hand. Her palm felt rougher than Akyuu remembered. “Mamizou-san took me to the mountains to train. I’ve been with the tanuki all this time, in the outside world.”

Akyuu smiled weakly. “Oh Kosuzu. All my lectures back then were a waste.”

“Sorry.”

Akyuu could see her better now. Kosuzu was wearing a simple kimono, and her hair was down. Her trademark bells were missing, and she looked thinner than before. Her smile was kind, but had a sinister edge to it.

Ten years ago, Kosuzu ran away from home. Her parents woke up to find all the youma books gone, money missing from the till, and an apologetic note from their daughter. The village looked everywhere for her. Even Reimu Hakurei and Marisa Kirisame couldn’t find her. But it was clear what had happened.

Akyuu had known for a while that Kosuzu was losing her humanity. She had a front row seat to the spectacle, and was powerless to stop it.

“Why did you come back?” Akyuu wasn’t sure where to begin. She had so many questions. “Why now?”

“I heard you were dying,” said Kosuzu. “I wanted to say goodbye to you.”

“Are you going to eat me?”

“I only eat humans when I have to.”

“Some youkai you are.” Akyuu squeezed her hand. “I dedicated a section in the _Gensokyo Chronicle_ to you: several pages on early human-youkai transformation stages with examples.” She had to rewrite it over and over, because her teardrops made the ink run. “Your parents made information pamphlets out of it and passed them around.”

“Do you hate me, for becoming a youkai?”

Kosuzu’s voice was weak, and full of remorse. It relieved Akyuu that she felt at least a little guilty about it.

“I do hate you, a little.” Akyuu didn’t want to lie. This was her last opportunity to be honest. “You were my best friend and you treated me like a normal person. I thought we shared all our secrets together. You might as well have slapped me across the face when you left.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Your parents almost went mad with grief. I couldn’t work on the _Chronicle_ for months because I missed you so much. We held a service for you at the shrine, and Reimu Hakurei and Marisa Kirisame wouldn’t look me in the eye. They told me later that you’d been messing around with some bakedanuki and probably ran off with her.”

“Mamizou-san’s a good person.” Kosuzu spoke quickly. “She’s... she’s really intelligent, and kind, and...”

“And she pretended to be a human to gain your trust. She didn’t tell you her name for years! How could you trust someone like that?”

“Don’t, Akyuu.” Kosuzu covered her face with her free hand. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Akyuu felt annoyed. “Understand what? How many times did I tell you that youkai are the enemies of humans? Why did you feel so drawn to them? Why did you have to become one?” She felt tears well up in her eyes. “Why did you have to become my enemy?”

“I did it for you, Akyuu.”

Akyuu was taken aback. “Excuse me?”

“Listen, okay?” Kosuzu’s voice shook. “I was really lonely back then. So lonely you wouldn’t believe it. You were my only friend in the whole world. My parents left me alone in the shop all day, and I got so bored reading the same books over and over. The few regulars we had were rarely the same age as me. Your visits made my life so much brighter. I never wanted them to end. I knew you wouldn’t live long. I knew you were going to die in just over a decade, and then I’d never see you again. I’d die before you reincarnated. That thought was pure torture to me.”

Akyuu opened her mouth, then closed it without saying anything.

“I thought... if I became a youkai, if I threw away my humanity... then I could see you again, Akyuu. In your tenth incarnation, and your eleventh, your twelfth... And I knew I was already losing what made me human. I was too sympathetic to youkai. I loved youma books too much. And then one day, Mamizou-san finally told me her name, and her true identity. She said she’d help me become a monster, if I wanted. I knew I couldn’t miss that chance. I worked harder than I’ve ever worked before, with her.” She sighed. “I’m so glad I managed to get back to Gensokyo before you died.”

“Kosuzu...” Akyuu didn’t know what to say. “Kosuzu... oh, you idiot...”

“I’m sorry for being immature, and selfish, and running away without telling anyone. I’m sorry I hurt you so much. I’m sorry I couldn’t come back earlier.” She looked into Akyuu’s eyes. “I don’t regret any of it though. You’re my best friend. I love you. I can stay with you for centuries now, if you want me to. Only... if you want me to.”

Akyuu’s emotions were a complete mess, but her darkest feelings had long faded. She couldn’t stay angry at Kosuzu. “Of course I want you to. I mean, it won’t be like before. You’re a youkai now, and I’ll always be human. But... Kosuzu, you really did all that... for me?”

“Really really.” Kosuzu smiled, just like a decade ago. “You can rest easy now. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Can you stay here? Until morning?”

“Yeah, until dawn.” Kosuzu looked outside. “Or... until your servants wake up, I suppose. They probably wouldn’t like a youkai in your house.”

“I’m feverish, so I might catnap for most of it.” Akyuu closed her eyes. “But, when I’m awake, let’s talk. I want to hear about the outside world.”

“All right.” Kosuzu squeezed her hand. “Since it’s your birthday.”

Akyuu’s breath grew steady. Kosuzu watched her sleep, holding her hand the entire time. She said she would catnap, but Akyuu’s eyes stayed shut for an hour. Two hours. Three. Her breathing grew quieter and quieter.

Kosuzu was gone when the first servant entered the room. The breakfast tray in her hands crashed to the floor.

The village fell into mourning. 

There were two funeral ceremonies – one for humans, and one for youkai. Kosuzu stood beside Ran Yakumo and stared at the floor, listening to the speaker talk about Akyuu’s life. There was so much she didn’t know about her friend now. A whole decade’s worth of memories she wasn’t a part of. She didn’t recognise the woman talking either. She was probably a little girl when Kosuzu left.

She had plenty to learn in the next one hundred years, before Akyuu came back. She had to find her parents and apologise to them. Return the books and the money she took. Visit Reimu and Marisa and explain herself. She wanted to be on good terms with them, before they all died.

And then, once she found redemption, she could face the tenth Child of Miare, and begin anew.


End file.
